This is officially a bean and cheese burrito blog, until the next article is released. In the history of the world, millions of bean and cheese burritos have been consumed. Out of the millions of bean and cheese burritos eaten, I am personally responsible for the demolition of at least half of those. As a self-proclaimed bean and cheese burrito architect and historian, I have studied the ancient origins of the bean and cheese burrito. From my 12 minutes of research, I have come to the conclusion that nobody truly knows how the bean and cheese burrito was created. Until now. The rumors are true. I created the bean and cheese burrito.
I have a confession. I did not create the bean and cheese burrito. However, I am here to announce and Raink (SO PUNNY) the best bean and cheese burrito in Rancho Cucamonga. I know a quality bean and cheese burrito when I see it. Restaurants cower in anguish when I enter because they know my reputation as the nation's harshest bean and cheese burrito critic. I don't even need to take a bite of the bean and cheese burrito to know if it's quality or not. The best bean and cheese burrito belongs to...
Before I make this major, shocking announcement, I would like to acknowledge this article's doubters. I was told by multiple sources, "Jordan, you cannot possibly write a blog about bean and cheese burritos. What a terrible idea." I would reveal these sources, but this could potentially be a violation of journalism's code of ethics. You do not mess with the journalism code of ethics, damn it. In response to these sources, I would like to say: I agree. All of my articles are awful. That's not going to prevent me from writing more awful articles in the future.
Do you know what's not awful? Tio's Mexican Food in Rancho Cucamonga. Tio's is the home of the best bean and cheese burrito. Everything about Tio's is perfect. Any slander about Tio's will not be tolerated. The Tio's staff is filled with some of the most friendly people that you are ever going to meet. The bean and cheese burrito is glorious. It will eliminate your student loans, save the polar bears, and let you travel through time (Results may vary). Like all great things, there is one limitation. The bean and cheese burrito will not make you a better writer, sadly. I'm not going to spoil the entire bean and cheese burrito experience for you, but I can promise you that you need to go spend all of your money on Tio's immediately. You will not be sorry.