OH WOW! This is Rainked.com's TWENTIETH article! The site is 5,000 articles away from being a top seven blog in Rancho Cucamonga. This blog has been so successful...is what I would be saying if the blog was actually successful.
Let's be real. The blog is hanging on by a thread. By a thread, I mean the damn Danimals article that is 30 views away from 11,000. Try Googling who won the Danimals sweepstakes to meet Zack and Cody. It will say "Noah Lotte". Although Noah Lotte is not fucking real, my passion for this blog burns like the hot pocket that gave me esophagitis, when I was 19 years old. Who cares that the site is $227 in debt. Let's cue the 20th article. Mark my words. This article is going to be the turning point for the blog. All of these following love stories are based on true stories that I made up.
MAN FINDS LOVE AT TARGET
"I was stuck in the dollar section at Target for six days straight. I made a wrong turn into the store on the way to work. I was surviving on old popcorn kernels and my own tears, when the most beautiful woman walked up to me and told me that I was blocking the candle she wanted. We've been married ever since." -Joe King
MAN FINDS LOVE ON SIDE OF THE ROAD
"I ran out of gas and had to pull over to the side of the road. I had thought that seven bucks would be enough to fill up my truck's tank, but oh was I wrong. I called Triple A Roadside Assistance, and pretended that I had a membership. That's beside the point. They sent the most beautiful woman to save the day. She asked if she could give me a hand. I assumed that meant in marriage. I agreed, and we've been married ever since." -Justin Thyme
MAN FINDS LOVE AFTER WINNING TRIP TO MEET ZACK AND CODY
"I had just won the Danimals Zack and Cody sweepstakes, when I packed my bags and headed to New York City to meet my idols. I got to the airport, and it turned out that I had not won the sweepstakes. I started screaming at the top of my lungs to help calm down the situation, and as I was being hauled away by the airport security, the most beautiful police officer said that I was going to be booked downtown. I assumed she meant for our wedding at the courthouse. I said yes, but for some reason we haven't been married ever since." -Noah Lotte
MAN FINDS LOVE ON RAINKED.COM
"I stumbled upon this blog, after searching who had won the Danimals sweepstakes. After looking in the comment section, I found the most beautiful person. That beautiful person was me. This blog taught me how to love myself, and I'm forever thankful for it. I've been married to myself ever since." -Jack Pott
Like this article? Hate this article? Please consider donating to one these impactful organizations.