The NBA Pacific Power Rainkings of the Ages

WHAT A CLEVER TITLE! I don't think there needs to be an article anymore. That's enough quality content for one day. However, I am going to predict the order of the Western Conference's Pacific Division, by a combination of each team's oldest player and youngest player. For all of you die-hard readers, if you remember last article, I said that I don't like list articles. That was the past. Times have changed from 23 hours ago. Without further ado, LET'S DO THIS!!!!!!!


FIRST PLACE: THE LOS ANGELES LAKERS (56-16)


Writing this article seemed like a good idea, but now I am having regrets. As a die-hard Clipper fan, I want to throw up writing that the Lakers will win the division, but it is true. Lebron James (35) and Talen Horton "Hears a Who" Tucker (20) are the best oldest-youngest-duo in the division. Consisting of the reigning finals MVP and second-best player of all time (Behind Ivica Zubac), Lebron James, the Lakers have a clear advantage over their divisional counterparts. Adding rising talent, Talen Horton Tucker, as the youngest player on the team, gives the Lakers the obvious best oldest-youngest-duo in the division. Oh, and Jared Dudley is a figment of everyone’s imagination, thus disqualifying him from the list.


SECOND PLACE: THE GOLDEN STATE WARRIORS (50-22)


More like the Golden State "BORINGERS" (HAHAHAHAHA). Stephen Curry (32) and James Wiseman (19) come in a surprisingly close second place in the division. Wait, Steph is only three years younger than Lebron? In the upcoming season, the Jordan Dynes patented analytics system projects Steph Curry to come second in the MVP voting behind Luka Dončić. Steph is only a few seasons removed from arguably being the best player in the NBA, and if he is truly injury-free, the sky is the limit for Steph. James Wiseman is incredibly raw, but he's a special talent that is going to be a force in the NBA for many years to come. It would be WISE to consider the Warriors taking a huge STEPH in the right direction this upcoming season.


THIRD PLACE: THE PHOENIX SUNS (44-38)


The Sun(s) are 4.603 billion years old. I'm not sure how old the Phoenix Suns are, but it's around that age. Chris Paul (35) and Jalen Smith (20) come third on the list. I'm not really sure who this Chris Paul guy is, although I do think I saw him on a commercial. CP3 is set to team up with Devin Booker to form a top-five backcourt in the NBA. As long as Chris Paul remains healthy, he will still assert himself as one of the best point guards in the NBA. Jalen Smith is an athletic power forward who can rebound and has the ability to hit the three-ball. The Suns look like a formidable team in this upcoming season.


FOURTH PLACE: THE LOS ANGELES CLIPPERS (35-37)


Coming in fourth on the power rainkings, are my beloved Los Angeles Clippers. Lou Williams (34) and Daniel Orturo (21) are the oldest and younger players on the Clipps, respectively. Lou Williams is a walking bucket, who has the confidence and ability to shoot the ball, from anywhere on the court. One of the best sixth men in NBA history, Lou Williams is expected to have a prominent role with the Clippers this season, as the Clippers try to get past the second round of horrors. Daniel Orturo is a work in progress that will spend time at the Agua Caliente Clippers for the majority of the season.


FIFTH PLACE: THE SACRAMENTO KINGS (0-82)


Yes, Karen, I am fully aware there are only 72 games this season. I cannot imagine using precious space on Rainked.com's award-winning website to write about Nemanja Bjelica (32) and the Sacramento Kings. Jahmi'us Ramsey (19) is my sleeper of the entire draft, but I just can't write anymore about the Sacramento Kings.


BONUS: MY FINALS PREDICTION


The Clippers are going to defeat the Brooklyn Nets in the NBA Finals. Ivica Zubac will make a put-back dunk at the buzzer, and I will ride off into the sunset and be on top of the (round) world. Sorry, Kyrie.


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